Amaranthine Love

I speak quite often,

Of my love for this life

But no words, uttered or unuttered

Will ever encompass my love for the world

It lives deep within me,

This love,

An amaranthine chasm

Assaulting my ribs and clawing at my throat,

Begging to be released.

My love for life is all around me

she is in the trees,

Entangled in their eternal dance with the wind

It is in the chill I feel on harmattan mornings

The sweat above my brow after a sunny day

He is in puddles and oceans,

Evening baths,

Morning runs,

Books and poetry,

Brooks and valleys

People and vanity.

My love for life is in music,

In the way I perceive it

With all my senses,

lyrics on my tongue

Melody in my ear

Notes on my skin

The way music lives inside me and surrounds me all at once

Oh, how I love this life!

My love for life is in my anxiety and my depression

My fears and obsessions

It dwells in art and science and is perhaps the reason I will never be able to choose one over the other.

My love lives and breathes

He sheds tears and laughs by my side

She hides with me when I can no longer bear my burdens.

My love reminds me of all I can be

A doctor, yes, but a poet too

A dancer or a painter,

A tree or perhaps petrichor

A person, an activist, a stylist, designer , a lover, a fighter, a coward,

a corpse.

My love for life is the fuel that lights my soul on fire

Fire that burns me constantly,

A perpetual reminder of my inadequacies

It is the fuel that kindles my madness

Because I will never be everything I can be.

I am ever perplexed

Is my love meretricious?

Or perhaps a farce

I am driven to insanity by the same love that keeps me sane

I love life and by virtue of this love, I hate it also.

~T•O•D•G